tee vee dinner | How do you deal with the perception of your gender in social situations? For example, I was at the airport the other day, and I was repeatedly called Sir, even though I’m a female identified person. Do you regularly correct people/ have to constantly come out to strangers and even friends? And do you see this as a task or an opportunity for discourse or at least an opportunity to enlighten people on their rigid perceptions?

sleepyweepycreepy asked: How do you deal with the perception of your gender in social situations? For example, I was at the airport the other day, and I was repeatedly called Sir, even though I'm a female identified person. Do you regularly correct people/ have to constantly come out to strangers and even friends? And do you see this as a task or an opportunity for discourse or at least an opportunity to enlighten people on their rigid perceptions?

yeah, i do constantly hav to come out to people (sometimes repeatably), i wish i didnt hav to. i get pretty awquard in social settings if theres someone i dont know cause of this.
i was born a baby girl but i identify as a male (i’m a transboy) and i go by male pronouns. in everyday situations like going to the store i could care less how people perceive my gender. i know that cause of the way i dress and my hair and voice and lack of facial hair ETC ETC ETC i’m gonna be unquestionably read as female. so it doesnt bother me one bit when i get called miss and she by strangers. i know that alot of people who are following me read me as female at first, i mean duh!!!! i also know that when meeting someone for the first time they probs think im a girl, and thats totally ok (i mean its annoying but not their fault!). usually if we are in a social setting and it becomes obvious that someone thinks im a girl i just ignore it, sometimes its not worth outing myself and i dont want to possibly embarrass them or make them feel bad but if i think that i will be seeing them again or actually want us to be friends ill ask a mutual friend to tell them, also often im too anxious to be able to bring up that conversation on my own.
being trans is just a part of who i am. i definitely dont want my gender to define me and what people think of me, i’m so much more then just a gender, duh!!! so i dont wanna talk about it all the time or hav it dictate my friendships or life, but at the end of the day its relevant to knowing me and its something people need to know if we are gonna be close or spend time around each other enough.
so heres the 411, people i know and who are my friends some even close friends, who i’ve know for years, some who hav only know me as he and a boy, some who ive personally talk to about my gender, mess up my pro nouns or say other weird stuff about how im a girl or other things as if im female. and 90% of the time i say nothing, i totally freeze up and freak out but my face remains normal and i act happy like its all ok, but its not, i dont understand it when queers who know me and know i’m a boy cant see me as that. sometimes people will correct themselves immediately, which i appreciate cause then i dont hav to freak out n be like “omg does my bff really not remember im a boy, do i actually hav to tell them again omg omg omg eeeep” and also because if there are other people around who maybe dont me so well i worry they will think “oh i thought samuel was a boy but if his really good friend is calling them she i must be wrong”. so if you find yr self messing up someones pronouns or misgendering them in anyway correct yourself. i was bullied so much as a child and grew up in a house with lots of fighting so from a very young age i learnt that if someone hurts you the safest thing to do is not let them find out. which makes sense for a kid being bullied but isnt really working for me now as an adult. i just feel so much guilt and shame in someone upsetting me about something personal that i dont want anyone to know about it.
i’m choosing to respond to this now cause in a 24 hours period during pride weekend i had 6 different queer friends misgender me, all who know im a boy, and i felt so dumb founded and down about it. i just dont get it, i mean i look really girly but there are so many other trans people in our community and i could never imagine people responding to them in that way. i’ve been out publicly for 3 years now (i held off coming out for a while as i knew people wouldnt respect that im a boy cause im so femme), and i’ve taken hormones on occasions and to be honest i’m 30000times butcher then i was 2 years ago. i know that some people will say stuff and not even notice that they did, everyone says wrong words at times, and sometimes its simply just that, i dont think anyone is doing it intentionally to fuck with me.
i wish i had the courage to correct people more often.
this said i hav lots of friends who are great about it and who i can tell see me for who i really am and i’ve had friends who off their own back hav corrected people or spoken to them later, thankyou!! i love that!!