Anonymous asked: issue: I am a straight girl who has just fallen for a female bodied/male identified person. do you think it's cruel of me to keep seeing this person in private even though I know we can never be in a real/public relationship? i'm just not ready to come out as being with this person, and i don't know if i ever will be.
hmmmm. i cant tell you any secrets to resolve how yr feeling but i can suggest some things you should think about.
if this person identifies as male then they are male, and i know its not always as simple as that, but at the end of the day it kinda is cause not all males are the same. it seems like yr attracted to/have fallen for this person, and thats more revlevent then sexuality or gender or what other people think but as you are a straight girl it seems that feeling that way about a male is right up yr alley. so whats the big deal?
i feel a mix of ways about seeing/dating people in private/secret. when i was 15/16 my first girlfriend wanted to keep our relationship a secret. we dated for 8 months but still kept sleeping with each other for 6 months after, went to school together, had some classes together, even sat with the same group at lunch and no one knew!!!! (well towards the end my mum knew, and like 2 other people) it was horrible for me! i was out as a homo and she was straight. it meant i had no one to talk to about our relationship problems or my feelings or the exciting stuff either. cause of this im pretty anti seeing people in private. but maybe for some people its ok, i think the only person who can tell you if its cruel is the person yr seeing, but know that they might not be honest with you or themselves. if they really like you theres a chance they’ll do things that might not be the best for them in order for you to be happy and for them to be able to still spend time with you.
you should ask yourself these questions:
why cant you never be in a real/public relationship with each other?
what is a real or public relationship mean for you? is it telling all yr friends? just some friends? or yr parents? or holding hands in public? wearing matching t-shirts that say “omg we are dating and totally made out last night” then posting a picture of it on tumblr?
what do you think you need in order to be ready to have other people know about yr feeling/relationship for/with this other person?
eeeeep i’m in the library and the computer is about to kick me offfffffffffffffffffff
edit: phew, back online hahahaha. if yr answer to those questions are along the lines of ‘you dont wanna be seen as a lesbian’ then the issue is the way you see transmen as not real men and i therefor really dont advise you keep seeing one. it seems you have some stuff you need to figure out about yrself before you should be in a relationship with someone else, chances are this person has been though alot figuring out who they are and sharing that with you and other people and i know that personally if a straight girl was having an issue with the fact i was “born a girl” then i would hella end it/not even get involved cause it would fuck with me too much and make me feel kinda gross.
Anonymous asked: name your fa orite musical bands of all time existing in the earth. like what do you listen to while making your bed or before going to take a piss. bye i love you. i love you i love you you make me happy bye.
hmmm, i’d hav to say that my fav bands OF ALL TIME would hav to be raooul, blatz and huggy bear. cause if some had asked me when i was 17 what my fav bands were those would hav been what i said, and i still love them now. i even hav a huggy bear tattoo hahaha. oh and ive loved saves the day for a whole decade now haha. i also deeply love hooky but only hav for a couple of years. i seriously dont know how to answer this cause i am so completely obsessed with so many bands and cannot imagine my life without them, but theres so many!!!! in the past few days these are the songs ive had on repeat (cause im lazy) in my room: i’m on fire, he wasnt man enough, crystal ball, seems, nevermind.
<3 <3 <3 <3
Anonymous asked: do you consider yourself a crossdresser? or identify with that culture at all? I realize it's somewhat of a different animal since you pass as female/have other affinities with societal femininity if you were raised as a girl. Just curious!
although what i do daily (being a boy wearing clothes made for girls) is crossdressing i dont identify that way. i kinda see cross dressing as being associated alot with a guy wearing womens underwears, which is something i would never ever do, personally i am mortified at the idea of me wearing a womens bra or panties (i think stocking suspenders are the cutest thou!!!). there are times when i dress up and feel like im in hella drag but im not dressing up with the intention or aim to look like a women, or pass as a women nor is it something that makes me feel sexual in anyway (the more girly the clothes the more asexual i feel, my idea of hot is baggy clothes and grimey carharrt overalls mmmm). im more trying to portray a vibe or character that represents a certain era/ aspect in pop culture - which always ends up coming off as high femme. im very effeminate and like girly things and for me performing in a way that really draws on those parts of me comes from a place of loving to create fictional worlds and characters especially thru aesthetic and fashion, having a holistic understanding of femininity and being really into social politics. underneath it all im just some dirty punk kid hahaha.
I do pass so effortlessly as female that my experience is really different to that of cross dressers or other people that are male but perform as female - like drag queens especially when it comes to stigma, homophobia, shopping for clothes etc etc. that said i do face different shit by being a guy, especially a trans guy in particular and dressing like a girl. i am constantly having to come out to people who are friends/future friends as a boy, alot of people i’m friends with constantly say really misgendering things to me which i guess comes down to them just not really seeing me as a guy, people make alot of really inaccurate assumptions about me, and cause of all this im pretty intimidated and shy if im in a space where theres people i havent met.
so my answer to yr question: what i do is considered cross dressing but i am not a cross dresser. i totally relate to glen milstead aka divine’s quote in divine trash “i’m not a drag queen, im an actor”.
Anonymous asked: hi there! you are fantastic, love your style, all that jazz. i have a question for ya that i hope you can help with. i am a ciswoman and i want to start dating a trans guy. i am pan but i have only ever had sex with cis dudes so i am a bit nervous about sex with this guy. i realize communication n consent will obviously be key, but i don't want to say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing. any advice?
i think the number 1 most important thing to know about having sex with a transperson is that not all transpeople are the same. im a transguy and ive also had sex with other transguys, but just cause someone might be trans or has had sex with 1 or even 100 trans people, it dont mean that they know a transperson is into. you cant really predict what someone likes sexually based on their gender or butchness/femmeness. some transguys are tops, some are bottoms, some are both, some like using strap ons while others dont, some might only be into certain things with a specific person/people or in certain situations, also what people are into changes.
communication and consent is a must for sex with anyone. dont use a word for peoples junk (gentiles) unless they’ve used it in reference to themselves or had told you what word to call it. think about what certain words insinuate too. like dont say something like i wanna eat you out, instead maybe say i wanna blow you or instead of thinking ‘oh this person is wet’ think ‘wow they have alot of pre cum’ .transguys are guys, not girls, their dicks may be smaller than cis guys but they still have a dick so treat it like what it really truely is (a sml dick). i think the best way to try not say or do the wrong thing is by being open and respectful and asks questions if its appropriate, maybe even talk alot about the sex you both wanna have before it happens- use it at foreplay even, share what you wanna do and what yr turned on by - it doesnt mean the other person has to do that stuff with you. i think you (and everyone) should read dude magazine. it has alot of articles about this kinda stuff (you can download the first two issues).
and while im on the topic of writings about sex with trans people theres a really awesome zine called fucking trans women.
faggotslut added: For anon: Asking someone what they like to call their body parts, how they want to be touched, and how they want to identify is totally okay! You may also ask this each time, or at least check in with them before. I believe this applies to anyone even if you believe they are cis.
Anonymous asked: why don't you shave your legs? btw, the fact that you're so different makes me so happy :) hahah keep it up
why don’t you/do you shave your legs?
as if i could be bothered to shave my legs, those things are long!
+++++ i think hairless legs on me would be fugly.
me talkin about tumblr
Anonymous asked: so are you straight edge or anything affiliated? whats yr view on recreational drugs?
im not straight edge. i use to be when i was 15, i dont think that really counts thou.
i’ve never taken drugs before and i have no interest in doing so. but i do drink and get drunk (this is very rare). i dont support drug taking. and id like to think that i dont judge those who use them. im close friends with lots of people who do different drugs and i dont feel any weirdness between us or around it. but when it comes to seriously dating someone i feel differently, i just dated a stoner for two years and it definitely brought on alot of problems.
Anonymous asked: Do you ever see any black or other ethnic riot grrrls?
as in see with my eye balls?
i sure do see and know many riot grrrls/queers/punx/feminists of colour. but in saying that i feel that i should mention that most of the scenes and communities that ive been around are predominately white.
this isnt obviously the only media for and about punks of colour but heres some links to cool stuff:
afro-punk : the documentary
black punk fanzine - shotgun seamstress
POC THE MIC
hambvrgerlady asked: uhh what musak did you use in the skate bitches trailer!?!?!?!?! i luuuuuuvvvvvv it!!!!!
the first song is friday fun by the donnas
and the song at the end is skateboard song by norma tracey and the cinderella kids.
Anonymous asked: maybe talk in your video talk about your ambitions/career chioces/what you hope to achieve in life???
i am currently taking a break from writing my queer rock camp volunteer application so i feel quiet professionally minded (hahaha) and in the mood to answer this question now + its 1am and i have exema cream around my eyes and not up for making a vid.
i dont really have any career path yet hahaha. i have a diploma in youth work and have done some work with different councils but i graduated when i was 20, and was sooooo not ready for that sorta work. for years now ive wanted to one day have a pretty specific job that i hope to get when im in my mid 30s which is to work either as a counselor or as someone who develops programs for young men who are perpetrators of assault. i’d also love to work on a new high school curriculum for sex ed. i really wanna make films and started school this year to learn how to do that but im dropping out cause it sux and im learning alot more by just doing it myself and i wanna spend 3 months in the united states. thats why im making skate bitches, to teach myself how to make a film. cause the best way to do something is to just do it. so im just gonna keep making films and videos and get as good as i can cause my goal is to make a feature length film in 2 to 3 years and i really enjoy working on projects and writing stories and making up characters and designing sets and seeing all the things i day dream about being played out for me to watch with my eye balls. i also really wanna one day raise a kid with someone i love HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA. oh and i really wanna run around in abandoned theme parks with my friends and lots of snacks.
i think above anything else in my life i wanna achieve this moment: where i, as an elderly person sit in a large comfy couch chair eating a refreshing cucumber sandwhich on white bread across from the childhood version of myself who is guzzling a lime milkshake, we look into each others eyes and i (as the old one) say “ive known you for my whole life but it will take yr whole life to get to know me. and i must tell you now that there is one thing im sure of above anything else and that is how much i love you and that ive done everything i possible could to help you grow and be free and if i say so myself yr life is definitely one of meaning and value” and truely mean it. self affirmation + time travel !!!!!
ladyfroufrou asked : Hello Hello! I really like your aesthetics,fashion decore etc.. I read a book a little while ago about a trans-boy, sort of written like a diary type thing, written for teens going through similar stuff. I was wondering, and I apolagise if this sounds naive, But could you explain a bit more about Trans-boy and femme, and how they work together? and also I am curious about the binding you mentioned in your “fashion” video” thanks! I am really curious about these things anfd want to know more
well a transboy is someone who was assigned female at birth but who deep down feels like and identifies as male. femme is something that is traditionally seen as feminine. i think for some people a femme transboy is a contradiction, how could someone who is born a girl and who likes “girls” stuff be a boy? so much of what we believe to be boys stuff and girls stuff is created by society and perpetuated in the ways we are brought up, through advertising, in history, etc etc etc its EVERYWHERE. every person is different and every trans person is different but this is how i feel about being a femme transboy: i have major gender dysphoria and am constantly perplexed (even after 24 years) over the body that i actually have. alot of things about my body dont feel natural or right and like mistakes. i love pop culture in both a critical and genuine way- especially teen girl culture, i was socialised as a girl since birth and have alot of nostalgia for the things i did - like wear pretty dresses, dance lessons, play with my little ponies (all these things we are told are girls things, but can be just as much enjoyed by a boy) and i was a teen lesbian who was very into riot grrrl. so i understand and have lived out many experiences shared by people who are women in the western world and i have endless respect and understanding and love for females. most of this is reflected in the things i like as an adult : how and dress, how i act, what movies i like etc etc etc, pretty much all of which society sees as feminine. but the fact that i like hoop earrings and have long hair and will wear a blouse and collect flowers and read zines on feminism and watch the oprah show (and cry) and eat salads has nothing to do with me being a boy or a girl. i didnt tell anyone i was trans for years! cause i knew people wouldnt believe me cause i wasnt very masculine appearing or they would expect me to start dressing and acting differently and i had to wait til i had enough self love and assurance in me to not worry about people doubting me. and its true alot of people where weird about it and will call me he but will say stuff that clearly indicate that they dont see and accept that i am a boy, even queers who hav been around queers for years and i am constantly having to come out to people. im not trying to throw a pitty party, i just want others to be aware of the realities some trans people have.
everyday for the past 2.5 years ive worn this binder. it has completely changed my life for the good. i like how clothes look when im wearing it (althou theres alot of things i cant wear anymore) and i feel so much more relaxed and confident and safe when wearing one. i found it really off putting to dance, run around, jump, hug people before i had one and it effected all areas of my life. i wish i could just feel fine without one cause the sweat sux and it can hurt and i wanna feel the wind on my back so bad but hey, gotta build a bridge and get over it.
Anonymous asked: So you kinda mentioned something on my mind in your video: that you have just a lot of stuff. When I accumulate things I eventually get the urge to give away/donate/toss a lot of it. I don;t like feeling attached to too many things. Do you ever get rid of stuff in such a way?
in the past 6 years (since moving out of my mums house) i’ve moved many times, moved interstate, moved overseas, gone traveling and been without a room from periods of time so im constantly having to cut down heavily on how much stuff i own. ive given stuff away, donated stuff, sold stuff, had numerous market stalls and yard sales, lost stuff, put stuff in free boxes, left piles of stuff on the street corner. i dont like feeling attached to so many things, i feel like it weighs me down but its hard to get rid of things, especially when everything i own is so one off. i currently have my bedroom which is FULL of stuff + some boxes at my mums house + 3 suitcases of stuff (at the time i could not have imagined giving away my christmas light collection) and a bike in my friends basement in seattle (thankyou holy rectory!!!). i just looked around my room and i have 5 telephones that dont work. but in those past 6 years i have gotten rid of so much stuff that it could all fully furnish a 4 bedroom house (each room complete with clothes + books + records +decorations + bedding + electronics). last year before going to seattle i moved outta a house id been living in for 2 years. it was the only house i had lived in in melbourne and when moving to melbourne all i brought with me was 4 bags. i was living down the road from savers and pretty much across the road from a huge salvos store that had loads of stuff left out the front of it as donations everynight so i accumulated an obnoxious amount. when i moved out i literally got rid of 10 garbage bags worth of clothes + many plastic castles + a bunk bed + omg so much stuff. i had a pile outside my house and it was really fun peaking out the window and watching people get really excited rummaging thru it. my highlight was some nerdy guy loosing his shit over the framed shirley temple poster.
a video i made a few days ago talking about some stuff that i commonly get asked on tumblr relating to fashion.
i harp on a bit haha - this vid goes for 12 minutes. so if yr in it for the long haul i suggest fixing yrself a beverage or going to the bathroom before hand.
nataliegeographic asked: HI, I love your page it's always a pleasant surprise when I come on here. I was wondering what a typical day is like for you?
my days really vary, i dunno what would be typical. for the past two months most of my days have involved skate bitches - either writting, making stuff for, organising, researching equipment, finding locations, planning outfits, filming etc etc and now editing. yesturday i slept in, went to an anal massage workshop, had dinner with my friend at lentils, editted skate bitches, went on tumblr and compared flight prices to the states. today im going to edit skate bitches, get a key cut, go to the bank, make a skate bitches collage, eat lamb shanks at ani t superstars house, go on tumblr and hopefully answer some questions in a video. tomorrow im going to school and ill scan some stuff for tumblr and read to kill a mockingbird and go say farewell to my friend whos going back to sf.
Anonymous asked: What does 'queer' mean to you?
as in a definition?
my definition of queer has changed over the years. as a teen i believed myself to be a cis gendered lesbian and i would say that i was queer. but now i know that im a transboy who likes a vast range of different genders and i say im queer. so i would have to say that to me queer is some/all/a mix match of some of the following things: same sex attracted, having sexual experiences and/or relationships and/or desires that are not always cis man with cis woman, having romantic feelings and/or relationships that are not always cis man with cis woman, not being cis gendered, having a sexual identify that falls out side of heterosexual (this includes asexual).
when i was like 19 i starting feeling not right about saying that i was a dyke cause although i was “born a girl” and liked girls and had a girlfriend i didnt really feel like i was a girl, and a lesbian is girls who like girls, but i definately didnt feel like i was straight, the sex i was having definitely wouldnt be classified as straight and i had a long history of being a homo and coming out etc etc etc so the word queer was one that i felt like i fit nicely into, and so for me it meant a place where who i was could be real. i also think “queer” carries with it alot of history and community and a conscious decision to live and love outside of societys norms which i think is orchestrated (im not sure what time right word would be) by some queer people being anti marriage, some queer people not looking or dressing like the majority of other people, some queer people having chosen families (consisting of friends and community) as oppose to their bio family, some queers having non traditional relationships (being poly) or having “taboo” sex.